• Thigh problem rules out Brazilian for a month
• Chelsea ban vuvuzelas after consulting fans

Chelsea, who are already without the goalkeeper Petr Cech, will also have the central defender Alex sidelined for the start of the season.

The Brazilian injured his thigh in training and will be out for a month, the Premier League champions said on their website.

Cech is expected to be out for a similar length of time after tearing a calf muscle in his right leg. The pair seem certain to miss the opening game of the season on 14 August at home to promoted West Bromwich Albion, who are managed by the former Chelsea midfielder Roberto Di Matteo, on 14 August.

Chelsea are to ban vuvuzelas from Stamford Bridge this season. “The decision has been made to ensure the continued enjoyment and safety of fans following consultation with the club’s stakeholders, including fans’ representatives who showed strong support for a ban,” said a club statement.

Chelseaguardian.co.uk

• Midfielder leaves after seven years at Stamford Bridge
• Cole says he had no problem with Carlo Ancelotti

Joe Cole has blamed “political reasons” for his release from Chelsea and will return to England from South Africa to consider his immediate future, with Tottenham Hotspur and Arsenal understood to be interested in signing him under the Bosman ruling.

The 29-year-old, a late substitute in England’s demoralising 4-1 defeat by Germany in Bloemfontein today, will depart Stamford Bridge after seven seasons in south‑west London having failed to agree terms on an extension to his stay with the Double winners. He joins Michael Ballack and Juliano Belletti in leaving the club, with the Liverpool midfielder Yossi Benayoun earmarked to replace him in a deal worth around £5m.

“My season for Chelsea wasn’t great for what I believe were political reasons rather than footballing reasons,” he said. “I love [the Chelsea manager] Carlo Ancelotti and have big respect for him. My leaving is not financial and it is nothing to do with Carlo. I love him and think he is a top guy and a top manager. I’ve loved my time at Chelsea and I love the fans but it is a story for another day and I will tell it. But now is not the time.

“Now I want to have a couple of weeks off, to sort my future out as soon as possible, to go on holiday with my family. Next season I want to have a fantastic season for England and for whatever club I am at. Wherever I go, it’ll be a footballing decision. I want to play in a more central position and I want a manager who has faith in me. And I’m talking about club football here.

“It’s a big decision for me and my family but I’m open to anything at the moment. I have purposely not spoken to anyone while I’ve been here because that wouldn’t be fair on England. My phone has been turned off but now I want to sort it all out.”

ChelseaDominic Fifieldguardian.co.uk

Today’s tall tales are too spartan for kindergarten

As Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross told us in their seminal 1992 hit, The Best Things In Life Are Free. Punching someone in the face, lifting a packet of T-Bone Steak Roysters from the local shop or putting a brick through the TV every time Tim Lovejoy comes on: none cost so much as a single piece of copper yet all serve to immeasurably brighten your day.

Now, it seems, you can add Joe Cole to that list. Normally Bosman transfers elicit about as much interest as a chess match at an orgy, but Cole is a Pwopah Player and as such is Big News. Today, according to some rag whose name we forget, he is being strongly linked with Arsenal, who have joined a lengthening queue of those who want a piece of Cole. It includes Manchester United, Tottenham, Manchester City, and that bloke who apparently sowted him out in a row over that Page 3 girl back in the day.

Now that Arsène Wenger has finally realised that Manuel Almunia is actually a circus clown trapped in a goalkeeper’s body, Arsenal also want Fulham’s septuagenarian stopper Mark Schwarzer. Fulham will replace Schwarzer with David James, and that’s where the property chain ends.

On the subject of goalkeepers, Steve Bruce is a sucker for a man who wears a cap at a jaunty angle, and will consequently replace Craig Gordon with Wigan’s Chris Kirkland.

Carlo Ancelotti and Zlatan Ibrahimovic are both staying at the same holiday resort in Florida. When they pass each other in reception/the jacuzzi/the sauna, they say “hello”, because that’s what polite, metrosexual people do. But 2+2=977 in the Mill’s circles, and now Ibrahimovic is on his way to do whatever it is he does at Stamford Bridge next season.

Another essentially useless plank, Newcastle’s Andy Carroll, may be moving to Birmingham or Stoke. And Celtic have shown they really mean business next season by, er, bidding £500,000 for Stoke’s Liam Lawrence.

A centre-forward who is actually very decent, Burnley’s Steven Fletcher, will join Wolves for £7m today. And Roy Hodgson is being nice and genteel and loveable in an attempt to woo two other centre-forwards: Frédéric Piquionne of Lyon and Hannover’s Jan Schlaudraff.

Oh, and Real Madrid are going to usher in a new era of anti-galacticism by signing, er, Angel Di María and Steven Gerrard.

]]> http://www.watchchelsea.com/2010/06/03/football-transfer-rumours-zlatan-ibrahimovic-to-chelsea-rob-smyth/feed/ 0