Today’s fluff didn’t start the fire

Slowly, they come creeping back. The low flames flickering in the reflections of their bright eyes. Above the susurrating winds and the hushed chitter from the shadows, snatched phrases and tentative negotiating ploys are faintly audible: “Player-plus-cash deal” … “£120,000 a week” … “Six-month loan with a view to a permanent transfer pertaining to a pre-agreed contractual release clause.” The banked fires will be stoked again, fuel brought by willing arms. Out of the darkness they will flit, once more to dance in the circle of light …

[Fade to black]

Yep, the Mill is feeling in fine fettle this morning, as only three days after the transfer window SLAMMED SHUT the gears of spin, cant and innuendo are rapidly grinding back into life. The main target today is the England manager and national pin cushion, Fabio Capello, who is sensationally going to use players we have heard of in a formation that is practically hardwired into the English mentality for tonight’s Euro 2012 qualifier against Bulgaria. Capello’s decision to retain the majority of the squad that fared so badly in South Africa and send his team out in a staid, missionary 4-4-2 met with the usual LOLZ, Roflcopters!!, ZOMG!, lollerblading in my LMAOplane!!!!! response from the tabs. Oh, and the Mirror have decided to Photoshop the Italian up like Frankenstein’s monster too.

From one soon-to-be ex-manager (well, he will be one day) to an ex soon-to-be-new manager, the Daily Mail have announced that Gérard Houllier has got the Aston Villa job. This, of course, would be the same Gérard Houllier who was part of the Fifa technical study group that yesterday doled out praise for England’s 4-4-2 loving World Cup flops. It’s only if you read down far enough that the Mail admit they don’t actually know what job it is Houllier has been given (if given one he has been). “It is as yet unknown in what capacity the Frenchman will return,” the report murmurs. Head of catering, perhaps?

Sticking with the Mail, where the Spartak Moscow manager, Valeri Karpin, is totally into Chelsea’s Yuri Zhirkov. “I was interested, I am now and I will be in the winter,” Karpin cooed in a Facebook message to the Russian left-back. We’ll see how steadfast his affection is come January.

The Mirror delight in the scatological headline possibilities allowed for by Celtic’s decision to sniff, ahem, around Danny Shittu. The former Bolton defender is a free agent, so can sign for who he likes yah-boo-sucks to you, transfer deadline. Leicester also fancy a [big Nigerian centre-half].

After welcoming old new-signing Sandro to England five months after he agreed to join, Spurs have turned their attention to Supersport United’s Bongani Khumalo. Harry Redknapp has typed a number into his calculator (possibly 5318008 and turned it upside down) but the South African side are holding out for an unspecified higher amount. Michael Kightly, meanwhile, overlooked for Wolves’ 25-man Premier League squad, could be sent on loan to Reading and Chris Riggott is to go on trial at Cardiff.

In transfers-that-didn’t-happen news, West Ham’s Valon Behrami is still pining for Roma. “I am disappointed the deal failed to go through – that is for certain,” he told the Sun. “Avram Grant gave me his permission to speak with Roma. But he also said he needs me, with West Ham bottom of the table. I’m sure I’ll still get to play for them.” And they say the Swiss don’t get passionate about things.

Jamie Carragher is going to sign on at Liverpool. No, not for his £64.30 Jobseekers Allowance, but for two more years being given the runaround by the Anfield oppo. Thankfully on this one, Fabio Capello has seen the light. Across La Manche, France’s players have signed up to a good behaviour charter, so says Bacary Sagna. If they’re naughty again like they were at the World Cup, there’ll be no frites for tea, or something.

Benjani has said Manchester City lack “class”. Meh. And Zlatan Ibrahimovic reckons “City are still a side for the future. I chose Milan because they are a team that can win prizes now. City can wait for the future but I can’t.” But can they, Zlatan? Can they?

Finally, exclusive to all newspapers is the news that Cheryl and Ashley Cole are to divorce today. Although the Mill might keep its Cheryl Cole RSS feed – purely in the event that she hooks up with another brother from the fraternity – if that’s all right by you.

Aston VillaChelseaTottenham HotspurCelticAlan Gardnerguardian.co.uk

“Everyone thinks they have the most beautiful wife at home,” Arsène Wenger remarked when Sir Alex Ferguson attempted to argue that, although Arsenal had won the championship in 2002, Manchester United had played the better football. Nobody ever called Chelsea beautiful. Even when José Mourinho shifted the balance of power in London to Stamford Bridge, his teams were still portrayed as the great clunking fist.

Arsenal might have missed out on the trophies, but they were still English football’s undisputed stylists, using it as a comfort blanket just as those bands whose record sales will never match those of an X Factor winner pore over their glittering reviews in the NME. No longer.

It is not just the sheer quantity of Chelsea’s goals – 29 in their past five league matches – that is remarkable, but their quality. The first against Wigan featured a beautiful, surprisingly delicate touch from Didier Drogba, pulled back by Ashley Cole for Frank Lampard, who brought it instinctively under control. His shot was saved, but Florent Malouda rolled the rebound into the net. It was Chelsea’s first attack of any note and the game was 33 minutes old.

“It is difficult to know why people think that Arsenal play the better football,” Malouda said. “Even when we finished top, people still said Arsenal played better than us. But you are seeing an evolution since the manager [Carlo Ancelotti] came in. We are scoring more goals and keeping more clean sheets and that is what it is all about if you want to win the league.

“You have to be efficient but, when you see a team like Chelsea scoring so many goals, I hope people recognise our quality. But we are not playing for glory; we are playing to win. You can say we have a killer instinct because we know that, if we have any kind of opportunity, we have to kill the game.

During France’s catastrophic World Cup, Malouda was the footballer most usually pushed in front of the cameras to explain the latest reverse – a role Lampard is usually given with England. Here, in the corridors of the DW Stadium, Malouda explained how Ancelotti encouraged his players to continually keep moving. How Drogba dropped deeper to release Salomon Kalou and Nicolas Anelka, who each scored twice as Wigan, having more than held their own in the first half, disintegrated.

Kalou, he said, “could feel where the ball was going to be”. It is, as Ancelotti pointed out, probably no coincidence that so many of his players returned early from the World Cup and spent the rest of the summer nursing their hurt.

“If you have character, then after a problem you must be motivated, but I think the English players are taking more motivation from the World Cup,” he said. “John Terry, Lampard and Cole are showing very good physical condition.” The first of that trio, however, may have been fortunate not to have been dismissed after becoming embroiled in a spat with Charles N’Zogbia while on a yellow card.

It is not essential to have come home early from South Africa to shine – Bastian Schweinsteiger, the surging force behind Germany’s campaign, scored Bayern Munich’s winner against Wolfsburg on Friday night. However, it probably helps. As does the fact that Chelsea are a team that not only go for the jugular, but look to tear the carcass apart.

Last season they scored four goals or more against 12 of their opponents and have begun this campaign with a pair of 6-0 romps. Roman Abramovich’s gripes about the lack of entertainment he got for his roubles seem very distant, although Ancelotti would know they contributed to the downfall of first Mourinho and then Luiz Felipe Scolari.

“We play for 90 minutes because people who come to the stadium pay to watch 90 minutes,” is how Ancelotti responded when asked why Chelsea do not ease off when the game is palpably won – something Arsenal were wont to do.

Wigan have negotiated heavy defeats before under Roberto Martínez and they were the better side for extended periods of the first half. However, their humbling by the supposed sacrificial offering that is Blackpool and the fact that on Saturday they travel to Spurs, where they lost 9-1 in November, have meant the first chimes of a crisis have begun to crackle through the DW Stadium. Titus Bramble suddenly seems a great, lost leader and should he and Sunderland win here on 11 September that crisis may be unmanageable.

Man of the match Didier Drogba (Chelsea)

Premier LeagueWigan AthleticChelseaTim Richguardian.co.uk

• £18.2m Ramirez’s work permit appeal accepted
• West Ham lose out on Serbian striker from Ajax

Salomon Kalou has admitted this season may be the last chance for Chelsea’s ageing team to finally win the European Cup.

Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka are all over 30 while John Terry, the captain, and Ashley Cole reach that milestone in December. “That’s the reason why we should win, we should go for every challenge,” said the 25-year-old Ivory Coast international.

“And I think this season will be a great season for Chelsea because this may be the last opportunity for us to win the Champions League or to win more prizes together. Everyone is concerned by that and we have a decent goal and this team is willing to do their best to achieve all those trophies.”

Chelsea won the Double last season in Carlo Ancelotti’s first year in charge and Kalou is confident that they are again the team to beat. “Always. Everyone comes to Stamford Bridge to beat Chelsea because they want to beat the best team,” he added. “And I think this year Manchester [United], Arsenal, Manchester City maybe, or Tottenham or Liverpool, they can challenge Chelsea.”

Most of Chelsea’s players had disappointing times at the World Cup in South Africa, but Kalou believes that will only improve their desire. He said: “Of course, of course. We have good professionals in the team, good experience and people are hungry to win because, at the World Cup, it was not so good for everyone at Chelsea. They have that hunger to win games because we know that the World Cup was a disappointment for everyone.”

While Kalou named Manchester United as Chelsea’s main title rivals he welcomed back Michael Essien, who returned from a knee injury in Sunday’s 3-1 Community Shield defeat to Sir Alex Ferguson’s team after eight months out. “We know how important he is for the team, how important he can be to the whole season, because having him in the team is a bonus,” Kalou said. He dismissed Chelsea’s poor pre-season form, which has seen them lose four successive matches.

“Some players came in at different moments [from the World Cup], and some players didn’t train for one week, so they need time to be fit. It can be a problem but we have the players and the experience of these kind of competitions. I think they will be ready for Saturday, I have no doubt of that,” Kalou said of Chelsea’s season opener against West Bromwich on Saturday at Stamford Bridge.

Ricardo Carvalho, who left Stamford Bridge this week to rejoin José Mourinho at Real Madrid in an €8m (£6.6m) deal, said he has wanted to leave for the past two seasons. “I was going to go [to Internazionale] last year but Chelsea did not let me,” he added. “For the last two years I have been very clear that I wanted to leave. I was reaching 30, 31 years of age and I wanted to experience another league but they wouldn’t let me. It was not easy to leave Chelsea.”

Chelsea have been given the go-ahead to complete the £18.2m transfer of Ramires from Benfica after the player was granted a work permit at a tribunal. The clearance came this afternoon, when the assistant manager Ray Wilkins and the club secretary Dave Barnard attended a hearing in London and argued the case for the Brazil midfielder to receive a permit under the special-circumstances clause, given that he has not played the required 75% of international matches over the past two years.

The Brazilian is expected to arrive in London tomorrow to complete the paperwork, although he is unlikely to be considered to face West Bromwich.

West Ham will have to appeal after the Serbian forward Miralem Sulejmani, signed provisionally on loan from Ajax yesterday, saw his work permit application rejected. The 21-year-old, who was not included in his country’s squad for the World Cup finals, had agreed a 12-month deal.

ChelseaDominic FifieldJamie Jacksonguardian.co.uk