Today’s gossip is listening to Killing Joke’s mighty Requiem, as interpreted by the lovely Smoke Fairies…
Milan Jovanovic, the free-transfer Liverpool flop who moved to Anderlecht this summer, is being threatened with a five-year ban from Belgian football after celebrating a goal against Bruges last month by firing an imaginary machine gun at fans, triggering laws about incitement to hatred. Imagine how little football Robbie Keane would have played if the same laws existed in this country.
Um, probably still quite a lot actually, at least in the last few years.
Surely the potential harm that could be inflicted by the imaginary weapon chosen by the footballer must be taken into account here? In that case, Rio Ferdinand’s rocket launcher must have been worth a good eight to 10 years – and he did it more than once. What could be worse than that? Assuming, of course, that miming seizing the controls of a nuclear submarine would be a little too complicated for a single footballer.
Anyway, on with the rumours and news that Ajax are bracing themselves for a hellish January scrap what with Chelsea joining Manchester United, Tottenham, Sevilla, Valencia and Roma in the astonishingly competitive race for the right-back Gregory van der Wiel. And in other van der news, Milan are mulling over a £12m January bid for Rafael van der Vaart.
Alan Pardew suffered a transfer setback yesterday when striking target Modibo Maiga insisted he would prefer to stay at Sochaux. “I’d prefer to stay here,” he said. Pardew’s striker-signing dreams aren’t the only things going up in smoke, though – there’s also EastEnders legend Pat Evans, who is set to die in an enormous but hopefully ratings-grabbing Christmas fireball.
The following transfers are only 50% Premier League: QPR’s Clint Hill is close to completing a loan switch to Nottingham Forest, and Doncaster want to sign Chelsea’s 18-year-old forward Milan Lalkovic. And the following have no Premier League content in them at all: Exeter City want to sign Matty Oakley, the former Southampton team-mate of their manager, Paul Tisdale, from Leicester. Huddersfield have “received several offers” for Danny Cadamarteri. Bournemouth have plenty of irons in the fire despite the manager, Lee Bradbury, admitting defeat in his attempts to sign Barnet’s Mark Marshall and Mansfield’s Tom Naylor.
Middlesbrough sent their assistant manager, Mark Venus, to scout Jason Scotland during Ipswich’s 3-0 win over Coventry on Monday and could now move to sign the striker, initially on loan. Talking of Ipswich, they, Nottingham Forest and Watford are all making overtures to the 25-year-old Austrian defender Andreas Dober, who is out of contract after being released by Rapid Vienna.
Swansea’s Brendan Rodgers might beat them all to it, such is his determination to add to his defensive options despite the closure of the transfer window. It’s reported that he is currently “studying a list of out-of-contract defenders”, and hoping to sign at least one before his team has to play Chelsea at the weekend.
Diego Maradona has told fans of his new club, Al Wasl, to stay at home if they’re only going to whinge, after losing two of his first three games in the UAE. “If you are scared, then don’t come and watch the matches,” he said. “You can stay at home, watch some DVD or some comedy series.” A dramatisation of the Argentinian legend’s managerial career would fit the bill.
ChelseaTottenham HotspurSimon Burntonguardian.co.uk
