Today’s rumours are the resurrection

Carlos Tevez walks into a book shop. Goes up to the counter and says to the shop assistant: “I want a book about chutzpah and I want you to pay for it.” Or at least that was the gist of reporting by Her Majesty’s fourth estate on Sunday when news that the Argentina striker had handed in a written transfer request to Manchester City screamed out of the radio.

Twenty-four hours have seen a reverse ferret of epic proportions with Carlitos now the wronged party, done down by the machinations of “certain executives and individuals at the club” who have left their relationship “broken down” and “beyond repair”. He is at pains to point out that he still loves Sheikh Manosur, Roberto Mancini, the fans, the colour sky blue, Mel Torme’s version of Blue Moon, snoods, Francis Lee, Colin Bell and Mike Summerbee, Oasis’s first two albums, Curly Watts out of Coronation Street, Eddie Large but not “Supersonic” Syd Little, inflatable bananas and Vimto. But as for that Garry Cook and Brian Marwood …

Anyway, the upshot is that he’s off and to get away, ideally to Boca Juniors, who can afford neither his transfer fee nor his wages, he is prepared to go on strike and refuse to play for the first team ever again. The Daily Mail says Chelsea are “monitoring the situation” which is a new euphemism that means “wetting themselves in hysterics”. Could he also be swapped with Liverpool for Fernando Torres asks the Mail, rhetorically. Well he could, but he won’t.

Elsewhere Aston Villa are in turmoil after a training ground bust-up involving Richard Dunne and Gary McAllister. Apparently Dunne told Gérard Houllier’s right-hand man that his methods were antediluvian and walked off the pitch. According to the Mirror, other gripes include Houllier’s banning of mobile phones from Bodymoor Heath, fewer days off and the injunction that dressing-room banter should be focused solely on football and not on other subjects, such as dialectical materialism and the Schleswig-Holstein question. To cheer himself up Houllier has stripped Dunne of the captaincy, is getting ready to sell Stephen Ireland to anyone who will have him and sign Demba Ba from Hoffenheim for £6m and Iraklis Thessaloniki’s Apostolos Vellios for £2m.

Alan Pardew or “Alan Cheerer” (Geddit?) as the Mirror have dubbed him is fighting a losing battle with Bolton for Swansea’s Darren Pratley. Wigan had hoped to steal in and pinch him too but Wanderers have got the edge and will do a deal in January to sign him for nowt in the summer. Pardew will also fail in his attempt to recruit his favourite former No2 Peter Grant to St James’ Park. He’s stopping with Alex McLeish at Birmingham City, or “Glum Brum” as they’re known by the tabloids today after the Wolves defeat.

Blackburn reckon £3m will prise Charlie Adam out of Blackpool to play in front of Sam Allardyce’s “bunch of old women” while Tottenham have set their sights on Internazionale’s Italy full-back Davide Santon. According to his agent “there is no clarity from the coach” about playing Santon in his right-back role. Poor Rafael Benítez. Why all the criticism? Does white liquid in a bottle always have to be milk? That move may be kiboshed by Inter sacking Benítez and replacing him with Fabio Capello according to calciomercato.

Everton are going to cash in on Steven Piennar before he walks away for nothing in July, flogging him to Spurs for £3m and buying an unnamed striker with the cash. David Moyes would rather be rid of Johnny Heitinga, Diniyar Bilyaletdinov and the man the Guardian style guide insists we call Yakubu Ayegbeni but can find no takers.

Carlos TevezManchester CityChelseaAston VillaRob Bagchiguardian.co.uk

Roberto Mancini believes Carlos Tevez can be his Diego Maradona. That analogy looked a little less fanciful after the Manchester City captain’s goal destroyed Chelsea’s hitherto perfect start to the Premier League season.

Carlo Ancelotti’s side remain top but, without ever truly sparkling, City suggested that those who assume Chelsea’s title defence will turn into a procession may want to revise such opinions. Moreover, despite their mixed start to the campaign, few will dare dismiss Mancini’s own ambition of finishing top after a victory chilling in its efficiency.

Wealth can guarantee many things but excitement is not always among them. City and Chelsea may be two of the world’s richest clubs but, pushed nose to nose, their expensively stocked teams produced a thoroughly anticlimactic first half.

If admirers of the defensive arts may have relished watching John Terry’s tremendous block on Carlos Tevez when City’s Argentine international slid in to connect with James Milner’s low left wing cross and Dedryck Boyata’s brilliant tackle to deny Nicolas Anelka as the Chelsea striker shaped to shoot, most people would have been disappointed the goalkeepers were so underworked.

The nearest thing to an early goal arrived when Mancini’s rearguard almost undid much high class defending by losing concentration at a corner. It led to Pablo Zabaleta, the home left back for the day, looking mightily relieved to see his attempted headed clearance rebound off a post and ultimately fall kindly for Joe Hart to gather.

Although Anelka, all surging runs, sharp changes of pace and clever movement, did give Kolo Touré a thorough work out there was generally too little attacking improvisation. While Chelsea missed the injured Frank Lampard’s late dashes into the box from midfield, Mancini’s deployment of three orthodox holding midfielders did not make for the most dynamic of approaches.

Mark Hughes’s willingness to embrace attacking risk may ultimately have contributed to his Eastlands undoing but, behind the optimistic veneer conferred by this potentially watershed win, there is a real suspicion that his successor’s innate, Italianate, conservatism could actually be taking City backwards.

In mitigation a lengthy injury list combined with the need for several new faces to be properly assimilated must be factored into the equation but playing very much on the counter-attack at home with a formation that frequently looks more 4-5-1 than 4-3-3 can be a bit of a thrill killer.

Adam Johnson’s penchant for what Mancini perceives to be cheap thrills – the England winger recently caused his manager to raise his eyebrows when he paid for a date with the glamour model Katie Price, aka Jordan, in a charity raffle – was perhaps one reason why he was initially demoted to the bench and replaced by David Silva.

The Spaniard began by once again suggesting that his transition from La Liga to the Premier League will be of the slow burn variety but, after spending the best part of an hour, being unceremoniously bundled off the ball at every opportunity Silva exerted revenge.

It came in the form of the cutest of dummy runs which succeeded in thoroughly bewildering Ancelotti’s defence while permitting Tevez, who had collected the ball, in the centre circle to accelerate towards goal. Eventually Tevez pulled right before unleashing a shot which flew through Ashley Cole’s legs on its way towards the bottom corner.

Terry – despite Wayne Bridge’s injury-induced absence roundly booed by City fans who will not let him forget ‘Perroncel-Gate’ – and company variously hung their heads and pointed fingers.

If that was an example of shocking defending – not to mention dead-eyed finishing from Tevez who now has 25 goals in his last 29 Premier League appearances for City – Chelsea’s Didier Drobga had not so much forgotten his shooting boots but seemed to have fallen asleep. It was no surprise when Chelsea’s principal striker was replaced by Daniel Sturridge.

By now a second period which had started so brightly for Ancelotti’s side when Anelka’s low, long range strike forced a corner after prompting a fine save from Hart, was drifting away from the visitors.

Premier LeagueManchester CityChelseaLouise Taylorguardian.co.uk

When Wayne Meets John has assumed the proportions of a Hollywood blockbuster. Will they or won’t they? And that is just the eye contact. The tale of how two best friends have fallen out over a woman is nothing new but this particular episode holds the nation in thrall. The collateral damage has been destructive and it is in danger of obscuring other issues, chief among them Chelsea’s desire to edge closer to the title and City’s need to improve upon a worrying recent run. Oh, and Carlos Tevez is back from a personal trauma of his own. David Hytner

Venue Stamford Bridge

Tickets Sold out

Last season Chelsea 1 Manchester City 0

Referee M Dean

This season’s matches 19 Y81, R3, 4.42 cards per game

Odds Chelsea1-2 Manchester City 7-1 Draw 7-2

Chelsea

Subs from Turnbull, Deco, J Cole, Ferreira, Kalou, Sturridge, Matic, Alex, Hutchinson, Bruma, Kakuta, Borini

Doubtful Deco (knee)

Injured Bosingwa (knee, 7 Mar), Essien (knee, 7 Mar), Zhirkov (calf, 7 Mar), Cech (calf, 27 Mar), A Cole (ankle, May)

Suspended None

Form guide WLWDWW

Disciplinary record Y37 R2

Leading scorer Drogba 19

Manchester City

Subs from Taylor, Touré, Onuoha, Boyata, Ireland, A Johnson, Vieira, Sylvinho, Ibrahim, Garrido, Santa Cruz

Doubtful Santa Cruz (knee), Tevez (match fitness), Touré (knee)

Injured Ball (foot, 7 Mar), Petrov (knee, 20 Mar), M Johnson (knee, May)

Suspended Adebayor (first of four)

Form guide DDWLWL

Disciplinary record Y36 R2

Leading scorer Tevez 13

Match pointers

• Manchester City have failed to score in their last seven visits to Stamford Bridge – no Premier League team has ever gone eight consecutive games without scoring at an opposition’s ground

• If selected, Joe Cole and John Terry will both be making their 300th Premier League appearance

• Carlos Tevez has scored in his last three Premier League starts against Chelsea – all for different teams (West Ham, Manchester United and City)

• Chelsea’s last three league defeats have all seen them take the lead before going on to lose 2-1

ChelseaManchester CityPremier Leagueguardian.co.uk