Football transfer rumours: Edinson Cavani to Chelsea?

Today’s Mill wants to know: what have you done for me philately?

Boxing Day is a time for leftovers in more ways than one. If today’s lunch is yesterday’s dinner, then today’s newspaper stories were mostly cooked up by 24 December at the latest. Even the most persistent peddler of transfer gossip was unlikely to dig up any new leads in the gaps between opening presents, inhaling turkey and nodding off in front of Downton Abbey.

Keeping things fresh this morning, however, are thick lashings of personal interpretation. For while many newspapers’ top transfer stories result from the same managerial press conferences – given before Christmas – some have succeeded in drawing entirely opposite conclusions. While the Daily Mail announces that Darren Bent will not be sold, for instance, the Mirror declares that Aston Villa are just waiting for the right bidder.

The confusion seems to have arisen from the manager Alex McLeish’s imprecise language. “I wouldn’t think anybody can afford Darren. I wouldn’t think so,” he says in the Mirror’s report. “A striker of Darren’s ability would be difficult to replace.” Yes, I think we can all see how they got from there to the online headline: “McLeish admits: I could sell Bent.”

There are one or two EXCLUSIVE! stories about this morning too though, and by EXCLUSIVE! we do for once mean the sort of EXCLUSIVE! that doesn’t also appear in every other newspaper. The Sun, for instance, claims that the peculiarly shaped gift dominating space under the Villas-Boas tree turned out to be a £150m “transfer war chest” for André. Rather than rushing down to Comet, the Chelsea manager will wait patiently for the January sales – when he intends on purchasing Edinson Cavani, Marek Hamsik, Milos Krasic and Gary Cahill.

Of course, Villas-Boas is fortunate to have rich Uncle Roman looking out for him at this time of year. After St Pauli killed Santa Claus, many managers’ Christmas plans had to be cancelled altogether. Even long-suffering Roberto Mancini has claimed he now has to sell players before he can buy this January. In completely unrelated news, the Mirror say Mancini is about to get a new £5m-a-year deal, making him the best-paid manager in the Premier League.

Just across town, Manchester United’s Sir Alex Ferguson has written in his programme notes for today’s game against Wigan that he has no plans to add to his squad this January. But the Mail, never ones to let reality get in the way of a reader-baiting yarn, insist he is ready to renew his interest in Tottenham’s Luka Modric anyway. And while we’re on the subject of things that aren’t happening, the same paper says Cesc Fábregas will consider rejoining Arsenal … if he ever decides to leave Barcelona.

There’s good news for Blackburn fans, though – with Venky’s, promising ’significant spending’ in the Mirror – even if the club go down. You can’t say fairer than that for an ownership group who have already blazed a trail since taking over the club, backing up their bold words with decisive moves for such high profile stars as David Beckham and Ronaldinh … Oh.

Elsewhere, the Sun say Ryan Giggs has emerged as the leading candidate to replace the late Gary Speed as Wales manager. QPR, meanwhile, are reportedly planning an £8m bid for Blackburn’s Chris Samba, as well as a £10m one for Rangers’ Nikica Jelavic. And Everton would like Steven Pienaar back on loan.

ChelseaManchester UnitedBlackburn RoversQPRPaolo Bandiniguardian.co.uk

Premier League half-term fans’ reports: Arsenal to Manchester United

Part one of the Observer fans’ network’s review of the 2011-12 season so far

ARSENAL: 6/10

Bernard Azulay, GoonersDiary.blogspot.com It feels as if the mettle we’ve displayed in our recent run of form was forged in the debacle of the opening weeks of our campaign, when we struggled to cope with the departures of Fábregas and Nasri, together with the absence of Vermaelen and Wilshere. We may remain only one hamstring away from disaster in respect of Van Persie but, no matter where we end up, most Gooners see plenty of reason for optimism in the burgeoning spirit within this squad – something that had been missing for far too long.

Star man Obviously Van Persie, but with plenty of kudos to the unstinting commitment of others such as Koscielny.

The flops Chamakh, a mysteriously pale shadow of the striker who first arrived at the club, and Arshavin, who appears as if he can’t wait to escape.

The gaffer: Arsène Wenger, 7/10 While Wenger’s desire to cling on to our star players was perfectly understandable, the fact that he was forced into the equivalent of Supermarket Sweep in the final few hours of the transfer window felt like a failure on his part. Nevertheless, all credit must go to Le Gaffer for silencing the critics who were far too quick to sound our death knell.

Who should he sign? Although our recent injury crisis at full-back has exposed a disconcerting lack of depth in the squad, we are desperate for some replacement firepower up front. Albeit somewhat erratic, Podolski is not cup-tied in Europe and may be best suited to adapt to the Premier League.

ASTON VILLA: 4/10

Jonathan Pritchard, Observer reader It has all been so grimly predictable: beating the rubbish, losing to the quality, the massive anti-McLeish tidal wave when we play badly … You could read our season like a book. And not a very good book. We are all craving something sublime or ridiculous to lift the general malaise: football surely isn’t supposed to be this humdrum? It feels like death by a thousand Blackburns right now.

Star man Gabby Agbonlahor has been easily our best player: we’ve scored 18, he’s scored five and assisted eight, and the buzz around the ground when he gets the ball has returned.

The flops Controversially, I’d aim the most criticism at Bent and his inability to do anything but goal-hang. Five tap-ins and absolutely nothing else is what he’s contributed in 14 games. I’d sell him.

The gaffer: Alex McLeish, 4//10 I don’t blame him as much as most. He’d been stripped of his two most creative players before he arrived and the gamble on N’Zogbia has failed. We play dour football, but doesn’t everyone apart from the billionaires? I’m not sure anyone could make a silk purse out of this sow’s ear of a squad. Villa fans need to stop being so parochial with the “Bluenose” stuff: he’s our manager, so we may as well get behind him.

Who should he sign? Bobby Zamora.

BLACKBURN: 0/10

Marcus Tattersall, Blogs.soccernet.com/blackburnrovers A farcical, tragi-comedy that should have the theme tune of The Benny Hill Show playing in the background. Nothing surprises any more about a club that have undergone a character assassination, from being a model of calm respectability under the guidance of John Williams to a dysfunctional shambles that epitomises Venky’s. Contrary to popular belief, the supporters have been magnificent but the daily rumour mill has taken its toll and the majority have never felt as disillusioned and distanced from the club. The authorities have driven a divide between supporters through mixed messages and spin, and the club are in danger of imploding and losing a generation of fans.

Star man Samba is still dancing and the Yak has had a good appetite.

The flops Radosav Petrovic resembles a deer in headlights every time he plays.

The gaffer: Steve Kean 1/10 The greatest spin doctor since Alastair Campbell. If Kean were captain of the Titanic he would tell the passengers it had hit ice to help keep the drinks chilled. The only positive is we score more goals but if we can’t keep the ball it counts for nothing.

Who should he sign? An experienced chairman or chief executive who could command the respect and trust of the fans is priority.

BOLTON: 3/10

Shaun O’Gara, Supporters’ Club The season started well with a 4-0 win at QPR but it has been downhill ever since in a disastrous run. Rock bottom of the league, nine points from 15 games – in fact since our semi-final defeat to Stoke last April we have played 21 Premier League games with only four wins and 17 defeats. A dramatic improvement is needed or we’ll be relegated by New Year.

Star man There’s been so many inconsistent performances and so many players who are not performing, but Klasnic’s seven goals are one plus.

The flops Reo Coker and Pratley in midfield have both disappointed. Eagles has been inconsistent. Ngog is still finding his feet, only one goal so far, and Boyata in defence looks like he’d rather be somewhere else – probably back at City.

The gaffer: Owen Coyle 4/10 This time last season he’d just won the manager of the month award and we were playing free-flowing, attractive football. Now we’re unable to string two passes together, have forgotten how to defend and confidence is at an all-time low. Owen’s managerial reputation has taken a battering. The slump in form since the FA Cup defeat to Stoke is alarming – it’s as if the players’ belief in the manager and what he is trying to do evaporated in that moment as up to then things were on an upward spiral we were in the top 10 most of last season and in the FA Cup semi final for only the second time in 50 years. Owen Coyle is certainly enduring his most difficult time in management – he’s had terrible bad luck in that injuries have robbed him of key players – Stuart Holden, last season’s player of the year and the heartbeat of the side being the biggest blow. All our problems seemed to start with his injury last March, both him and Chung Yong Lee, the previous year’s winner, are both out for most of the season. In fact, 11 players are currently on the injured list, four with broken legs! We lost 20 goals in Elmander and Sturridge which we haven’t replaced. He’s been hampered by a lack of money to spend. The replacements look short on quality at Premier League level..

Who should he sign? We desperately need some steel and creativity in midfield. Presuming Gary Cahill is sold then a centre-half, as well as two full‑backs and a striker. In fact, we need to strengthen everywhere.

CHELSEA: 7/10

Trizia Fiorellino, ChelseaSupportersGroup.net We started well, flopped badly and have picked up dramatically. Given we have some new players and a new manager trying to impose a new style on the old guard, I am more than happy with our current lofty position. Annoyed to have lost to some average sides but there will always be those that capitalise when another team are undergoing a significant change – they were lucky to play us at a vulnerable time.

Star man Romeu has been a revelation and has made us a more difficult team to break down, but Mata has shone. He instantly makes us look more inventive. Leaving confused opposition players in his wake, he provides excellent service to our strikers. Whisper this – he may be better than Zola.

The flops Malouda – we all know what he’s capable of, but all we invariably get now is him losing the ball, bottling tackles and putting in poor crosses.

The gaffer: André Villas-Boas 7/10 I like the way he conducts himself, especially the digs at Gary Neville and the media – we need a manager who sticks up for us. We are finally beginning to see the emergence of his first team and it doesn’t look bad at all. He is not afraid to make controversial decisions and give him a couple more of his own signings and I think we could be on to something.

Who should he sign? With the exits of Anelka and Alex, and the Africa Cup of Nations to consider, we really could do with a striker and a central defender – but January is not the best time to do it, especially as our contract negotiations seem to go on for ever.

EVERTON: 6/10

Steve Jones, BlueKipper.com The season has been very frustrating for Evertonians so far. With Beckford and Yakubu leaving for financial reasons, and Arteta to play in the Champions league, it left us with very few attacking options. We’ve suffered because they haven’t been replaced. David Moyes has had to use young players like Rodwell, Vellios, Barkley and McAleny, who have all had some great moments but have also shown us that they need to learn a bit more before they can be given a run in the team.

Star man Leighton Baines. He has shown yet again why he is the best attacking full‑back in the Premier League.

The flops A lot was expected from Louis Saha, but two goals so far is a poor return.

The gaffer: David Moyes 6/10 I think Moyesy is great for Everton, but he has slipped below his high standards this season so far.

Who should he sign? We desperately need an experienced striker for a couple of million. Unfortunately, I don’t know one.

FULHAM: 6/10

David Lloyd, TOOFIF.co.uk Largely frustrating so far. We’ve got a better squad than last year, have greater strength in depth and yet have struggled to find any consistency as lineups and tactics have been chopped and changed. Backstage bickering hasn’t helped the cause, neither has an over-cautious, at times negative approach. In among it all there’s a good team trying to get out, but the key question is can Martin Jol settle on his best lineup and tactics?

Star man Ruiz and Dembélé are getting better by the week, while Murphy remains hugely effective, but it’s hard to look beyond Hangeland.

The flops Zamora has blown hot and cold while John Arne Riise has improved recently after a run of stodgy

The only safe bet is that Chelsea’s manager will lead the sack race | David Lacey

Under Chelsea’s twitchy owner André Villas-Boas will always be favourite to be the first Premier League manager to lose his job

Sack races, real sack races, are run for fun. The more fallers the funnier. Nobody would seriously contemplate placing bets on the winners.

In football it is the other way round. Here the starters for the sack race line up in August and the bookies are open for business. Betting on who will be the first manager to lose his job is a bit like going to the Grand National and staking a wager on which horse will be shot, but there is never a shortage of takers.

Round about now the ground begins to shift beneath the feet of more than a few managers and some have already gone. The Premier League clubs, however, again appear to be holding off at least until December and the season of goodwill. Nothing says “Happy Christmas” so much as a chairman’s vote of confidence in the boss shortly followed by an announcement that the club has reluctantly decided to part company with him.

The odds against the next to go are often not so much a reflection on the man’s managerial capabilities as the trigger-happiness of his employers. Just before the present season began there was a feeling that Neil Warnock might be an early casualty at Queens Park Rangers. Warnock, an experienced and able manager, had just brought QPR back into the Premier League but the gossip was that the owners wanted a bigger name. Then the club was sold, more money became available for new signings, Warnock bought well, the team is in the top half of the table and now the idea of his leaving Loftus Road is absurd.

Blackburn Rovers’ Steve Kean remains among the favourites to be shown the door and will stay there, along with Roberto Martínez, the Wigan manager, unless things begin to look up in mid-Lancs. Then again Rovers’ Indian owners have shown considerable faith in Kean’s ability to turn things around, even if his revised contract is believed to halve the compensation he would receive after being dismissed, while the Wigan chairman Dave Whelan’s continued support for Martínez is almost touching.

One recent betting list offered 12-1 against Harry Redknapp leaving Tottenham, compared to the 66-1 on Alan Pardew parting company with Newcastle. Something wrong here, surely, but this may have less to do with Redknapp’s recent minor heart operation than his appearance in court in the new year as a co-defendant answering charges of tax evasion during his time at Portsmouth. If football were the only consideration Harry would surely be out there with Sir