Chamakh to Arsenal | Man Utd £100m car boot sale | Sterling to Liverpool

Mondays are not usually a great day for the Mill. With (Pah!) match reports clogging up the day’s papers with news of things that have (Spit!) actually happened in the (Other Generic Noise of Digust!) real world, the tittle-tattle is something of a muddy puddle rather than the vast panoramic ocean of speculation that we know and love.

Today, though, is different. Today is a red letter day, particularly for those below the line. Break out the bunting, don that celebratory waistcoat and roll a keg of beer into the street because today, at last, Marouane Chamakh has signed for Arsenal. Well, nearly. Tabloid reports reckon the Bordeaux striker is finalising a four-year deal with the Gunners, but that the deal is effectively done.

Chamakh could be joined at the Emirates by West Brom midfielder Graham Dorrans after the Gunners joined the five-way tug of war for the player. Newcastle and Sunderland each have an arm, the Gunners and Manchester City have a leg, while Celtic are putting on rubber gloves and hoping he’s had a bath.

The Daily Mail reckons Birmingham manager Alex McLeish is to send scouts to watch Kris Boyd in action for Scotland against the Czech Republic at Hampden this week. They’ll compile a report on the player and then walk back to St Andrew’s in order to earn their orienteering badge.

Liverpool have secured a deal for 15-year-old QPR wonderkid Raheem Sterling. Rangers get £500,000 plus add-ons, while Sterling and his camp get £200,000 and a contract to 2014. Rafa Benítez is also keen on Lille defender and sometime Derby County mascot Adil Rami, and Rennes full-back Rod Fanni (insert your own joke here). Pepe Reina might not be at Anfield to greet them, though – he was yesterday linked with a £20m summer move to Chelsea.

Not to be outdone in the child-signing business, Barcelona have bagged ‘the Korean Messi’, 13-year-old Park Sheng-ho. Reports that the club are close to concluding a deal for ‘the toddling Kaka’ and ‘the foetal Pele’ have so far proved to be wide of the mark (but just give it time).

Manchester United will have a £100m car boot sale in the summer. Michael Owen, Nani, Gabriel Obertan and Owen Hargreaves are all lined-up on Sir Alex Ferguson’s trestle table, along with some albums on tape, a pack of playing cards with the seven of spades missing and a Power Rangers action figure with its head chewed off.

And free agent Salomon Olembe better get on his cape and out his pants on over his trousers because he’s the man Brian Laws wants to save Burnley’s season. The former Leeds, Wigan and £8m Marseille man could even play for the Clarets reserves this evening.

Premier LeagueLiverpoolArsenalChelseaJohn Ashdownguardian.co.uk

• Gunners aren’t good enough, insists German
• ‘Football is not playing nice passes. Football is winning games’

Michael Ballack has said the championship is now between only Chelsea and Manchester United, and has told Arsène Wenger to stop making excuses for Arsenal’s inability to win crucial games against their title rivals.

The Germany midfielder branded Arsenal too predictable, and said it may be impossible for the club to ever win anything – their last trophy was the FA Cup, five years ago – unless Wenger is able to make the team more tactically flexible. Arsenal now sit third in the league following their 2-0 defeat on Sunday, nine points behind Chelsea, who lead United by two points.

Ballack was clear when asked if the Premier League has become a two-horse race. “It looks like it,” he said. “It’s a race between Manchester United and us. But as I said a few weeks ago, it can go quickly that somebody drops points. But at the moment it looks like it’s down to the two of us.”

Responding to Wenger’s comments that he believed the best team had lost, Ballack was dismissive. “I think he always says this when he loses. When he loses he always finds an excuse.

“But football is not possession on the ball or playing nice passes. Good football is winning games and that’s what we do when we play against them. We deserved the win because we played very effectively. It was how we wanted to play before the game. It was our strategy. Maybe in the second half we concentrated a bit too much on defending but if you’re 2-0 up you can do this.

“For me good football is a mix of winning, successful football, mental strength, good football technically and also physically. I think we have a good mix in the team and we have done this all season. We can’t do more. First in the table.”

An ongoing criticism of Arsenal under Wenger is that the team is unable to switch tactics from its free-flowing, passing style, and is also unable to deal with more muscular opponents.

Ballack confirmed that Carlo Ancelotti, the Chelsea manager, had focused on this. He said: “We want to do our job. We knew the way they would play – we saw it in the first game we played against them [when Chelsea won 3-0 at the Emirates in November] and in the way they played against Manchester United last week [when Arsenal lost 3-1]. It is always the same style. If you get your tactics right like we did today I think you can beat them. That’s what we did.”

Ballack, who also echoed Didier Drogba’s support for John Terry after his loss of the England captaincy, was asked directly if Arsenal would ever win anything playing with their current style. “This season and the [last] season they didn’t show they were able to win the league,” he said.

The 33-year-old explained why he feels Chelsea are able to challenge for major honours. “We have a lot of big-game players and big characters at Chelsea. That is why we are a good team and it’s really great to be part of this club,” he said. “Everybody fights for everybody, there is good spirit and good experience in the group, we’ve had a few years together and there is a lot of personal quality among the players. Even if we don’t play a fantastic game we have a few players who can decide a game with one action.”

Ballack gave particular praise to Drogba, who scored both of Chelsea’s goals against Arsenal. The striker now has 12 in 12 games against Wenger’s team. “He is such an important player for us. In big games like this he is always there. That’s why he is such a big player,” said Ballack. “Two fantastic goals, the second was a great one.

“He’s a very individual type. The way he plays he’s a different type compared to [Wayne] Rooney or [Andrey] Arshavin. He has unbelievable physical strength combined with technical finishing. He has a lot of qualities and not a lot of players have this. It is much better to playing with him than against him.”

ChelseaArsenalPremier LeagueJamie Jacksonguardian.co.uk